OTHERWISE

Assuming we already met the way we did. What could have happened if you, or I, chose to stay inside that little world for a while more?

Perhaps I eventually found the tiniest bit of courage one day to come up to you during lunch or coffee break and strike a small conversation. Or maybe, since I was too shy to approach you in front of your folks, I would hurriedly punch my time-out on the dot and patiently wait for you outside of the gate, pretending to be innocently waiting for someone to share the trike with going to EDSA. Or if you're walking, I would have pretended to be just on my way to walking too. "Hello... Lalakad ka rin pa-EDSA? Sabay na tayo." You would have freaked out, but most probably gave me that first try because you did not want to embarrass me by saying no. But the next time you see me outside of the gate you would take another route because you cannot stand me draining you once more with my inquisitiveness. But I would have tried and tried, over and over. That was, if you, or I, had a little more time.

Perhaps, when I cornered you again and you decided to give me another chance one afternoon, you'd find out we can have some sensible conversations after all. Then you'd let me share the trike ride with you from time to time. At that point I'd be asking you what's on your current reading list, and you'd be talking non-stop about that book you've been reading over and over. I would like to read it too, but I'd still be shy to borrow your copy. You look like someone whose books are arranged in Dewey decimal classification in thick, wooden shelves. But I can't wait for the next afternoon, so I'd ask you to meet the next morning at the trike terminal so we could walk together to the office. Eventually, we'd be doing that every morning just so I could keep up with all your detailed book reviews. Perhaps those mornings would not have been so monotonous for me. That was, if you, or I, had a little more time.

Perhaps, after a couple of months more, realizing that trike rides and long walks are still not enough, I would gather a little more courage to take the bus with you to Cubao. You would usually prefer to just take a nap throughout the stretch of traffic, but I would not let you because I have more questions. I am like the Little Prince --- I do not let go of a question once I asked it. But unlike most adults, you're not interested with matters of consequences, and so you would ask me your questions too, just to get even. If neither of us are in a hurry but are both hungry, we'd probably be annoying each other by treating the other to a simple dinner. I would have known by then that you're not used to being treated, and so am I. On lean days, we'd have a casual meal at a decent fast food, because I know you don't mind. On some days, or just any day you want, I'd be treating you to a large bowl of authentic ramen. With extra soup and extra noodles. That was, if you, or I, had a little more time.

Perhaps I'd be delaying my house chores sometimes for Sunday and just hang out with you for real on Saturdays. From time to time I'd be asking you to go with me to check out new collections in good museums. Or just take strolls around UP and eat isaw and dirty ice cream. Or a supermarket trip in Cubao. Or just hop on-hop off LRT lines. I would probably be waiting for Cinemalaya season and reserve festival passes for us pretty early so we could watch everything you think is good or which your friend is either an actor, a producer, or a director. That was, if you, or I, had a little more time.

As for more time, we didn't have it back then. But still, we met again; and it's this chance we would have to take to forget about what was otherwise. #