TWO FAMILIES

Tomorrow will exactly be my fifth month in my new work. Oh yes, that was five months but I barely felt getting used to everything around me. Four years ago in my first job, I was so wary if I'd be regularized or not. Today, I don't even have time to think if I'd be regularized or not. And I don't have time to process if that's a good thing or not.

A lot has changed, definitely. The big place still hyperventilates me. Buildings and elevators sometimes make me claustrophobic. The late hours are a cause of paranoia. And the huge number of people in the hub make me a little schizophrenic. From where I'm coming from, and being the drama queen that I am, I know it's going to take me quite long.

I always told myself "don't rush, you're still in a stage of transition," and I usually averted the biggest question most of my old friends would pose: 'Are you happy?' Maybe there's just too much to consider. For all you know, I'm still attached to my old life --- the place, the habits, the routines, the stress --- everything in almost four years, especially the people. I definitely miss them, even terribly at times that people get random text messages or calls from me.

But for all I know, it only takes an open heart to turn these regular nostalgic attacks to be episodic. I always thought I don't have a choice but to fit in to this new environment; but I was actually wrong. It was I who did not give myself an option. And with this slow recovery, I know I owe my Google Team a lot. They never gave me the feeling that I was different. After all these months perhaps I still hardly know some of my 30+ teammates. But you get the picture. Every morning I don't mind starting and ending the day with these amazing professionals. In here I get to work with a trusted old friend, Sam. I have Donna, Ayen, and Meg, younger sisters who have way more guts than I do. In here we have a private pyschologist Darvy, and his equally talented antagonist/bff Eric. And of course nothing can beat the Mark-Knoi tandem plus Pareng Chelly in town. And the rest of them --- Joanna, Mariel, 'Te Les, 'Te Ivy, Arsie, Al, Rick, Mae, Gem, Apple(s), Alice, Hyungki, Jeff... argh there's just too many to mention!

When we get older, there's just nothing more valuable than the relationships with people we make along our journey. And I'm just so fortunate to have two families now in my work experience --- one that I will always look back to (with of course some occasional meet ups too!) and one whose company I'm really getting to enjoy and learn a lot from. I don't have to choose. And I know neither of them will let me. :) #

photo credit: marenlayne.wordpress.com